Whether your child told you, whether you stumbled onto it, or pried into it, you’ve revealed out one of the biggest secrets your child has to offer- and probably the most confusing for you.
In the past few posts I’ve aimed to explain what ABDL/TBDL is to the newcomer, however, I have not attempted to explain it to a parent or legal guardian. This post is just for that specific reason.
Allow me to emphasize this part: What your child is partaking in is safe and healthy.
No matter which side of the spectrum your child is a part of, for what he/she/they are partaking of is completely safe. The act of Age Regression and the feelings towards diapers is completely safe and healthy (given that your child does not receive a UTI from their play). The only aspect I would warn parents about is the fact that, because your child is partaking in something quite peculiar, they might feel lonely and therefore attempt to rid themselves of that feeling by finding someone to either be their caregiver, this becomes problematic as they might develop relationships with other people over the internet. These relationships are a bit different, a Caregiver/Little relationship is, in general, is very different than a traditional relationship.
As a little, you have complete trust in your caregiver, you trust that they know better, that they are able to take care of you.
For this reason, littles might be entranced by those older than they are. There are many underage littles who are either targeted by people older than 18 or will attempt to harvest a relationship from these men and women. Make no mistake, this is pedophilia.
TBDL encourages that littles and caregivers alike find their respective partners within their age groups.
Another problem common to littles and TBDLs is mental health issues. As stated before, Age Regression can be considered a form of therapy. However, any TBDL is more likely to show signs of depression and anxiety as a result of worrying about how this might impact their lives.
Make no mistake, your reaction is paramount to their health, how you react and what you do about this can and will change a great deal of your child’s behavior.
Keep in mind that your child has kept this secret from you because they are already aware that socially, this behavior is unacceptable. What they need is support and acceptance, what they do not need is to be belittled and chastised for this. I would humbly suggest that you should try to take a few days to take in what you’ve learned and to come back with questions designed to help better understand your child.
A question which many have asked and some have attempted is “Is this something that can be changed or curbed? Can you get rid of it?”
The answer is no- at least, not easily. Many, myself included, have attempted to stop this, have attempted to push diapers and that mentality away as far as we could.
We denied ourselves something that we couldn’t live without. And I’m hesitant to call this an addiction because of the stigma that word has behind it (and rightly so).
This isn’t so much of an addiction as it is a behavioral part of you. Allow me to explain: An addiction typically starts after having exposure to a substance. But for me and for many, we’ve always had this part of ourselves, we just discovered it. We hadn’t had a prior experience with it, we just, we discovered it. We noticed us thinking a bit differently when hearing about diapers, acting a bit differently when we saw a diaper commercial.
However, I’m also hesitant to relate this community with the LGBT community, as I may go under fire for attempting to. But I feel like it’s the best thing I can compare it to. We never chose this, and if we did, there’d be quite a few that would opt out of this lifestyle. We are who we are, and we can’t change that, at least not without medical intervention.
The most basic gift your mind will reward you for denying yourself your need of these items is depression. The knowledge that TBDL is unacceptable becomes questioning as to why, why is it wrong? These questions lead to introspective questions, “what’s wrong with me”? Which leads to self-hate, soon that self-hate manifests into not just TBDL, but to most things about the person in question such as physical attributes and other mental attributes, making it paramount to recognize, identify, and fix the situation before it intensifies into something that no one wants.
The only way that could possibly result in escaping emotional or sexual need for these items is with a therapist. But even this is not a guaranteed escape, more than likely, this will follow your child for the rest of their lives.
This, however, is not a curse. These behaviors can help their user deal with stress and anxiety.
What do they expect of us?
This can only be answered by your child, most want nothing but your acceptance and wants you to acknowledge what’s going on. Some may want you to purchase the items. And for the TB side of the community, they might even ask you to partake- it’s important for you to not push the boundaries of your own comfort as well.
How should I respond?
This answer varies from situation to situation, unfortunately, most TBDL’s can’t live in the situation of perfect circumstances, where they can practice what makes them happy in peace without consequence. Your answer is your answer, but it’d behoove you to understand that this isn’t a want, it’s a need and will cause more harm to be denied participation than good.
But as I said- I don’t have a definitive answer for anyone here. What will work for one family won’t for another and vice versa.
For TBDL’s, I recommend to please see it from your guardian’s point of view. Why are they making the choices they choose to make? Are there younger siblings in the house? Do you live with a grandparent? Do you have a source of income to support this?
Often times, your guardians wouldn’t make the rules regarding your hobbies because they want you to suffer, they attempt to balance everyone in the house out evenly, most times even forsaking their own needs and wants for their children.
Quick Review-
TBDL is not an addiction, it is a behavior that we had no control over. It can affect our behavior in general. This does not mean that the relationship between you, the parent and your child. This is not pedophilia and it won’t progress into pedophilia. Your child is not alone and there are quite a few of us scattered across the world.